Yogore (stain)
by jazz luxian
Summary: Well...this is my first Gundam Wing, first lemon/lime yaoi fic, first songfic all-in-one. It's a Rx1x2...it's angst accdg. to Hanako Miyuki. It's good i tell ya....well...see for yourself...and review it! Thank you!


Written By: Kenkashi Akira 

Disclaimer: All gundam wing characters belong to their rightful owners. No money here so please don't sue.

Warning: Yaoi implications and lemon, as well as a sap if you put it at that. Note that it is my first time to write a lime/lemon fic. This is the first gundam wing fic I've ever written so please bear… This fic was inspired by a previous fic I read. I forgot the author of that so if you're out there…credit is yours. Arigatou. This is my first shot at a songfic so I really need your reviews. Please be a responsible reader and tell me what you think of the fic. No flaming please. This fic contains a lot of my firsts…Enjoy!

**Song: GOODBYE (Sung by: Air Supply)**

TITLE: **YOGORE** [1] 

PROLOGUE:

I woke up to the thud of the front door being shut. I thought of going back to sleep since I've had less of it during the recent weeks… However, when faint footsteps followed, I knew I had to wake up…because he was finally home…to me… 

I had gone through Heero's files a few weeks ago and saw the email that Relena sent him, asking him to come to her as soon as possible for a very urgent matter. She said it was too classified and that it would be unsafe to let him know through email. Che…the bitch. She knew I would go through Heero's mail. She knew that if I had known where and when they would meet…I would've come with him because there's no point and possibility in stopping him. Bitch. Yet no matter how much pain it brings to me, I can't forget…the memories of his indirect goodbyes…

I was in our bathroom, getting ready for bed and he was in fact, already in bed waiting for me, which I find hard to believe. Normally, it would take me a bazillion persuasion to get him off that computer screen and into me… I admit, I envy the computer because it gets to stare at Heero's beautiful face for hours and hours without twitching…and his fingers run through its keyboards endlessly…[2] 

I just gave my hair a few more brushstrokes and settled myself beside him on the bed. As I rested my back on the soft mattress, he jumped on top of me and I gave out a small yelp, surprised by his actions. 

He started kissing me softly at first and I kissed him with equal force, giving in to his playful mood. Then as his hunger increased, he went more roughly and I wordlessly moaned as he had already removed my shirt. "Aren't you the …hungry one…" I tried to say…as he sucked my tongue so skillfully. 

His fingers were fast in unbuttoning my pants; at the same time driving his quickly hardening organ against mine, and a moan escaped both of us. "…always the…impatient one…I see…" I mumbled. 

Moving on…he slid down a bit and began to expertly drill the crook of my neck. Grasping his brown mass of hair with my left arm, I dig in for his organ…trying to remove his pants in a jiffy. 

As our cocks acquired more friction, pleasure flared in me like hell I could not contain in me. Pain was welling up. Yet I seductively whispered as my hands hurriedly grasped his tank top off him, "…more….kudasai…". 

And as a response to my impatient implore…he slid down a bit further and roughly nibbled on my nipples hard and succulent. I writhed in pain and sheer delight as I felt our genitals harden more and more. Then to my surprise, he rested his head on my chest, open-mouthed, catching his breath. 

"Is it over so soon?" I asked with a sly smile on my face. 

"Iie," he replied with his usual cold tone. "Just preparing for the main course…" 

He went deeper, into my erect crotch and violently worked on it. He kissed the crown, open-mouthed, toying around with his warm tongue. His mouth felt so warm as it caved around my cock and I shuddered at his sudden course of actions. I moaned quite loudly this time and held onto the bed sheets…fuckk… He was way too good at this… 

Pulling himself up closer to me without missing the chance of rubbing his already hardened cock on mine, he leaned into a kiss, sliding his tongue into my mouth and grabbed hold of my hardened cock just a wee bit too hard this time, giving it a yank. So I twist my hips a bit away from him but he only held tighter… 

"Nhnnnn…you gonna come in some time soon?" 

He nodded, whispering to me a 'Ninmu Ryoukai.', and ordered me to lie on my stomach. 

As the cooperative and impatient fellow I was, I did at once and he relaxed his body on mine. Without further delay, he removed his right hand from my cock and slid it into my tight ass. I whined and stiffened as he slithered his middle finger straight up to the hilt.

"…nhnnhnn…"

He removed his fingers quickly, and without a given warning, he thrusted his cock into my asshole and straight up to the hilt, causing me to arch back, and later on drowned my screams in my pillows, for I refused to give him the pleasure of my screams. And for a moment there, I thought I did see him smile. 

"fuuccckk you, Yuy…" 

"Shut up! I'm just getting started." 

"..gooodd..nnhhnnn…." 

Second by second, he went deeper into me and his thrusts were harder and faster. Helll….heat was way WAY up. Shiiit….

After dozens [3] of heated thrusts and cries and writhing for my own cock had been rocking sore… He finally gave it a rest, leaving his thing in me…We both desperately tried to catch mouthfuls of air. The sheets were all wet and sweaty as well, in messy intertwine. 

And in a final unexpected climax of events, he firmly held my hips with his right, pinning me down well,and held firmly onto my crotch with his left, and he slid his cock out fully and forcefully pushed in all the way in a fast second [4]. 

"…FUUCCCKKK!!!…" I barked in a sharp loud cry, shuddering, as he moaned silently in the background. 'Shit! Fuucckk…you…Nnhnhnnn…' I tried saying as I was panting really, really hard. My fingers were digging into the sheets.

"…You talk *gasp* too much…*gasp*" 

And as he withdrew his crotch, our tears gave way and streamed down our heavily sweaty bodies… 

When I woke up, he just came out of the bathroom and was all dressed up, ready to leave. I just stared at him…not surprised at all…and he just stare back at me, expressionless as always. 

'I'll be back as soon as I can,' he said, and left.

JERK! He left without even a 'thank you for the ride'! After last night, he was ready to leave me… *Last night* was his goodbye…

~~~end of prologue~~~

/ I can see the pain living in your eyes…

and I know how hard you try

you deserve to have so much more…/

:::a faint music sounds in the dim-lighted bar::: 

"OI! *hick* Another bottle! *hick*" I call to the bartender as I fuzzily sit on the chair in this famed bar in town. Heero had left yet for another mission for that spoiled bitch Peacecraft. 

"Anou…Don't you think you've had enough? You should go home, mister," he cautiously said, trying to avoid a heated conversation it seems… 

Too late. I pulled the gun tucked under my shirt and pointed it at him. "Don't you dare tell me what to do, *hick* you bastard!" 

That caused quite a stir from the other customers. 

"What'ya all lookin' at, huh? *hick* Go to Hell!" I screamed. 

They all cursed me and shrugged, and went on with their own business. 

The bartender quickly held out his hands and whispered a 'please calm down. I'll get it, alright'. I glowered at him then once the new bottle of whiskey was set in front of me, kept my gun tucked back in my shirt. The bottle being opened already, I hazily grabbed it and pulled in large gulps. 

"Kusoo…Damn you, Yuy…" I muttered and laid silently in thought.

As we heat up each other, filling each other's sexual fantasies…don't you notice…how I always stare deep into your eyes? Do you know why I do that? …it's not only because I try to see any expression or emotion out of it, or just to pleasurably look at those gorgeous eyes of yours…but to try and see if…if its me your really seeing…to see if the one you think you're fucking is really Duo Maxwell… But sadly, as hard as I try to push the answer away…it won't go away and leave me in peace…

Do you remember last week when we fucked? You…you called me…Relena… then snapped a 'sorry' seconds later, shrugged, and continued fucking me… 

You wanted to be with her instead of me, didn't you, Yuy… Did you know how much that hurt my feelings and ego? Did you even bother to care? You bastard!!! 

Yet who am I to complain? Among all your comrades, I was the only one whom you allowed to enter the domain of the true Heero Yuy… or at least what I think is the real Heero Yuy. You, an impatient, egoistic, self-centered sexy bastard, allowed me of all people to break down your walls and instead build up ours… That alone is something I should be grateful for…for never in a lifetime would that opportunity be granted to anyone else. Perhaps…perhaps…I've mistaken that welcome of yours…for love…for a possibility that you…would learn to love me… 

During the past two years we've been living together, I can't help but notice those sad shadowy eyes of yours… I keep thinking…from the moment I met you, you had those eyes, 'til two years after the end of the war, no change at all? Is it because you…you're that sad around me? Have you never considered me as anything but an easy lay? Have you never enjoyed my company? Only the sex huh? I know that that was part of your nature… but to be that, fully in two whole years… 

I didn't even make you twitch from that sad and grim look…unlike Relena who always made your eyes squint even the slightest with her words and actions… and that got me thinking. 

Perhaps… I'm not good enough for you…that you deserve someone better… Really, 'what can the God of Death give you?' I silence in deep thought.

/I can feel your heart and I sympathize

and I'll never criticize

all you've ever meant to my life…/

I never did get you to speak about your past. I guess it must be that painful. I mean, who, in his conscious state, would wanna relive a horrible past, right? I have a small idea of what you'd gone through…at least whatever small information I got from that scientist who gave you Wing. 

Your emotionlessness[5] at first I could greatly understand and consider. For at least I had Father Maxwell and a few other nuns to share me even a piece of what love could be…but you… Have you ever experienced love before mine? After two years…still the same Heero Yuy I met… 

Living together for two years…well…almost considering the many months you went away to fulfill a mission for Relena… Why were we living together again? I forget… Ah, yes. Because I could not stop myself from asking you…and you never did give a concrete reply… I took your silence for a 'yes'…Damn you for being such a perfect soldier…

But then, even the insensitive, emotionless, callous bastard warrior you are…I never could complain lest cease to admit that I had learned to love you. Even amidst all the Hell I've been through, my high regards for your character and my silently developing love for you had always prevented me from killing myself… in hopes that I, Duo Maxwell, can soften you and teach you to love me…then, life wouldn't be such a hell anymore…

/ I don't wanna let you down

I don't wanna lead you on…/

" *hick* Heero… *hick*" I swigged down another long shot. " ahhh…" I muttered as it burns a trace along my throat and stomach. The bottle of whiskey was up to its half already? Kuso.

Heero…after all this time…I still don't have you, do I? There's no foolin' myself no more… After all, we never did consider ourselves to be in a relationship…well, at least YOU didn't. No matter how hard I tried to show you I really really love and care for you…it's just never enough is it? The message won't go through that dead heart of yours…

And understanding that I admitted all those words…I pause. After all, what is love for Heero Yuy? Is it even in his vocabulary? 

You were all that mattered to me…and you still are. I do whatever you expect of me and even more. Yet, nothing I do is worthy of your attention or concern… There are so many things I wanna give you, show you, teach you…but to only fool myself, force you to participate in things that seem only to aggravate you… 

What's the use? I wan't you to be happy…because…if you're not happy with me, what then, is my life worth? 

I know… really, I do… Nothing…

/ …I don't wanna hold you back

From where you might belong…/

But then…I love you too much… too much to not bear to see you so sad…so, if you're not happy with me, and clearly you aren't…then…there's only one obvious thing left to do…

"…ahhh…" another long shot. I smile wryly…as hot tears stream across my flush cheeks. Perhaps the bartender noticed… 

"Oi! You wanna talk about it?" he softly said as he was wiping the bar table with a damp cloth. 

"Take a hike! *hick*" I barked at him. 

"Che! You're hopeless!" he yelled and went out of sight. 

Hopeless… Hmmmm…. Maybe he was right… After all, the meaning of my life had flown away from me once too often. Heero…

Why couldn't you just say it, you JERK! Why couldn't you just admit to yourself that it wasn't I whom you loved…but that egoistic selfish spoiled blonde bitch Relena you loved!!???!! Of course, if I did say that out loud to you…you would just glare at me with those steel blue eyes of yours and deny it. Even then, I would've put on a smile instead than pursue a raucous argument… Yet, at the back of mind…I'd get no peace… 

Oh come on! Do you really think I'm that stupid not to notice how concerned you were when Relena was kidnapped? I said 'che…he's got a crush' because I never thought it would amount to anything. And the way you helplessly fell in her arms during your daring rescue at Mariemeia Khushrenada's headquarters… Really…you'd risk all that for Relena…not heed my plea, my fear to lose you…just for her??!!! I know you…I know who you are and how strong you are… In a matter of seconds, you could have stood up on your knees and shoved her away but you didn't…YOU DIDN"T!??!!…not like those times you always did when I got close to you especially if in front of the others… You allowed yourself to be locked in her embrace…in her warmth…

I choke as a whimper inevitably escaped me…K'so…I was really losin' it wasn't I? Do you know how hurt I felt? Did you think that I did not see you from afar? Did you think I did not care?! You were all there was to my personality, to who I was…but now…I don't even recognize myself in your thick shadowy blue eyes… 

Who am I? Ah, yes. I was your next-door sex doll. I chortled. Yet another snivel has broken out of me… I wish…I wish that… I had not stopped you from shooting that bitch back then when we first met…

/ You would never ask me why

My heart is so disguised

I just can't live a lie anymore…/

Even when we fuck each other…it's so hard to please you…to get you to smile at least… After a whole day of fuckin' (didn't think I'd last that long, did you, Yuy?), you left for a whole of three months without a word. And when you did come back…

"Oi! Okaeri!" I said almost to the point of chirping, hanging on my face yet another facade of smiles. 

You immediately showered me with your kisses, and though how rough they were…I had been getting used to it, missing it. But even though we weren't getting to the painful yet most pleasurable part of the night… tears wouldn't stop leaving me… 

"Daijobou desu ka? Are you sick?"

::silence::sob::silence:: 

"Should we stop?" you asked in the same cold tone you always use… 

"Iie," I silently whisper and look into your eyes, searching…

All I can see is…I cover my trembling lips with my left hand and sit up, shoving you a bit to the side…all I can see is…is…Relena…so I cry some more. 

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…I… it was…" I paused, thinking twice if I should really tell you…

"…nothing…just go on…" I seductively said…a bedroom tone, facing you and pushing you down, holding your refined shoulders, resting your back on the bed... 

You shrug and nod…and we fuck some more… 

Hey, might as well do this and pretend right? Pretend that you loved me even for a while… even for a while…

That's my life isn't it? Nothing more but a pretend…just like this relationship…just like who I am…A big front just to get me as your sex doll…rather, sex pet[6]…on my heels when you order me to, bark when you throw your stick at me, wag my tail when I see you… 

I stifle another cry… che… FUCK YOU, YUY!!!!… for doing this to me…I can't…I don't think I can…stand it anymore…it's been too long already… 

/ …I would rather hurt myself

than to ever make you cry

There's nothin' left to say but…goodbye…/

I guzzle down the final shots of my bottle of whiskey and wince a bit as it burns my throat even more. "…ahhhh…" I look at the bottle indistinctly. 

"…che…*hick* Bartender! "

The bartender rushed in. 

"Give me another *hick* bottle!" 

"Nani?! But that was your third one already!" he snapped, taking the previous bottle from my loose grasp. 

"GIVE ME ANOTHER *hick* FUCKIN' BOTTLE OR I'LL *hick* FUCKIN' BLOW YOU *hick* INTO FUCKIN' PIECES!!! *hick*" I yelled, taking my gun out again. Amazingly, no one cared what the hell this time…good… 

Shaking his head, he went to the back and came out with another bottle of whiskey for me… 

I smiled ominously as I kept my gun away and took another shot from the new bottle. "…*hick* …" 

My gun's really doing fuckin' well for me tonight…perhaps…it is my only buddy, ne? One who will remain faithfully at my side… I quickly cover my mouth as I thought I would puke. ..

Have I drank too much?…I pause…Iie…it wasn't enough even to drown all my pain… Looking down dizzily, I recognized my gun from beneath my shirt…I wonder…should I end it all…Perhaps I should…after all, the HELL Maxwell does is make the one he loves unhappy, ne? So I deserve…

I stood up…tried to stand up…weakly… 

"You sure you could stand up?" he asked.

…and I gave the bartender all the few money I had left to pay for all the drink.Blurrily, I headed out of the bar, clasping the bottle of whiskey in my hand…heading for home… I felt my gun through my finger pads and smiled. 

'Just wait…' I thought. '…just wait…' '…I wouldn't wanna leave without a goodbye…' 

I coughed and scuttled to a light post. Once regaining what's left of my balance, I continued walking home. 

'…it wouldn't be fair for Heero if I didn't say goodbye…'

/ You deserve the chance at the kind of love

I'm not sure I'm worthy of

Losing you is painful to me…/

Remarkably, I was able to return home safely… I get the handheld recorder from a series of drawers in our room and a blank tape as well. I turn it on to record…whatever I had the guts left to say… *silence* 

I keep quiet deep in thought and reminisce… 

I came home late and was surprised to see you in bed. You had gotten back earlier than I expected. I solemnly watch you sleeping for hours, smiling genuinely. I dunno but I just love watching you sleep so soundly. In the middle of your sleep, you mutter words I thought were just nonsense and I retain a smile…until I heard your final word in absolute shock...Relena…you called for Relena…I broke into silent sobs and went for the bathroom to puke… 

That got me thinking again… You love her too much don't you, Heero? And you deserve her love as well… Perhaps…I'm not even close to be deserving of Heero Yuy…not at all…but still…every time you go off to her…I can't help but stop wondering… 'will you come back to me, koi?'… because I can't bear to lose you…I can't…

/ I don't wanna let you down

I don't wanna lead you on

I don't wanna hold you back

from where you might belong…/

"…Anou…" I finally am able to say after quite a long silence…as the recorder is still on, turning… "I…I've recorded this message earlier *hick* just in case you still *hick*decided to return to me…*hick* anou..…I thought…"

Am I really prepared to do this? After all this time…I guess…I should be…After all, if I don't do this now…when? After all, you don't deserve to live further in this big facade as well…you don't have to feel shit like me…just because of me…you don't deserve it…After all, you were just being yourself… Just so happened that your self loves Relena and not me… I was the one who was holding back your happiness…therefore…

"*hick* I thought you should know…*hick*…I hope it's worth something…*hick*…"

Can I really say it? Can I?I had been always afraid to say it…because I couldn't bear to face you and see that you didn't feel the same… Well, HELL!!! I'm gonna go to hell anyway, aren't I? So I must as well say it, shouldn't I?

"…anou…it's not that I'm drunk or anythin'…*hick* I really mean it from *hick* the bottom ofmy heart…*hick* cross my heart and hope to *hick* die…"

I pause again, a short one this time…heh...hope to die…

"*hick*…anou…Hee… Heero…" 

His name…Heero Yuy…I love you so much…so much…

"…ai shiteru…itsumo ………….." 

There. I've said it. I stop the recorder and rewind the tape just after the long intro silence. I placed the recorder on the bed at an easy-to-see angle. And grabbed the bottle of whiskey which had probably three-fourths or less left and pull a shot. "…ahhhh…" 

/ I would rather hurt myself

than to ever make you cry

There's nothin' left to say but…goodbye…/

I rose from the bed, dizzily, and walked out of the apartment, shutting the door behind me. I just felt like walking around…thinking things over like I usually do… foolish. It's foolish isn't it…coz no matter how much I think things over, it doesn't change anything…it just makes me feel worse.

'Baka na' I told myself, smiling resentfully, downing another shot, weakly strutting down the unfamiliar sidewalk… Which turn did I make…right or left? What street is this… I shift my head and I hastily see a sign but could barely read it. Shrugging, I downed another shot, longer this time… Looking up, there was no more whiskey. K'so. I threw the bottle to the wall and it shattered to pieces. I smiled again, cynically… 'just like my heart' I thought…shattered… 

Not recognizing where I was, I decided to follow a humming music in my ear… It came from across the street…at least I think it did… Sloppily, I dragged myself, crossing the road. 

**:::**BEEP BEEP**:::**BEEEEPPPPP**:::**

** **

Vaguely, I hear something…a spurt of noises I could not decipher what…

**:::**EEEEEECCCCCHHH**:::**BRROOGGDDZZZZ**:::**

I opened my eyes to luminous blurr. Where was I? I struggled severely to get on my feet, writhed and whimpered to every rush of pain… My body was wet…clothes stained….with blood… My left hand leaned on the wall for support while my right had been clutching my left side… Every step I took, blood surged out of my left side, profusely covering my right hand… 

I wasn't sure where I was heading…the whiskey must still be in effect…but still I kept walking to a direction I couldn't escape… 

My head was spacey…concentrating what strength I had left to push open a door. Where was I entering? Was I even welcome here…

Astounding even myself, I walked forward, one step after another without a wall to support me…I couldn't stop even if I wanted to… 

Reaching the end of the path, I fall on my weak knees and onto the marble floor. It was so cold. I close my eyes for a moment… "…Doko ni..." 

As I reopened my eyes slowly, I look up to something big, hanging in front of me…a cross…

It took me a few minutes more before I had realized that I was, in fact, in a church. There was no one in here other than me…and God…

'Father Maxwell…did you bring me here…' I thought…and smiled slightly. Damn my head's throbbing so much…k'so…

"..nnhhnn…" I mutter in pain… "..Heero…" I call just above a whisper… The pain is agonizing... 

"..He..*gasp*..Heero…*gasp*" It's becoming harder to breathe. "…Doko ni[7]…" 

My mind's a screw… Ah, yes… Heero was somewhere…with Relena… Tears streamed from my eyes, staining my bloody cheeks…

/ There's nothin' left to try

though it's gonna hurt us both

there's no other way to say…goodbye…/

With all the strength I forced myself to believe I had…I crawled up to the altar. I stood and rested my upper half on it, quickly staining the pure white cloth with my blood. I begin to mumble things I thought was just nothing, my right arm moving on the cloth by some fated force I don't know what. 

"…Heero…" I sigh, shutting my eyes for just a sec…as I know he won't come…not for me…

Reopening my eyes, I squint…the pain is becoming more unbearable…harder to breathe…

I look up to what I have scribbled on the altar cloth…

"…Father..*gasp*..forgive me..*gasp*..if you can…*gasp*" I say in excruciating yet sweet imploring whispers… "..*gasp*..onegai..*gasp*" I close my eyes and rest…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EPILOGUE I:

Heero shut the door silently, thinking Duo could be asleep. He headed straight for the bathroom, washing his face, freshening up. Coming out of the bathroom, a towel on his head, he stopped short, finally noticing that Duo wasn't there on the bed, sleeping like he usually does. 

'He must be out for a while' Heero thought, knowing that Duo did like drinking. 'Perhaps he went out to buy a drink.' 

He sat at the edge of the bed, drying up his hair well…when he noticed the handheld recorder he owned was on the blanket, with a tape, paused to play. He eyed it queerly… 'What's he up to this time…' 

Curiosity getting the best of him, he pushed the pause button to un-pause it and continue the playback.

"…Anou…" "I…I've recorded this message earlier *hick* just in case you still decided *hick* to return to me…*hick* anou..…I thought…"

Heero's eyes did twitch a bit. 'Baka na…'

"*hick* I thought you should know…*hick*…I hope it's worth something…*hick*…"

Heero was silent…as always…glued to what Duo had to say. His soldier instincts were on and he concentrated on every sound…

"…anou…it's not that I'm drunk or anythin'…I *hick* really mean itfrom *hick* the bottom of my heart…*hick* cross my heart and hope to *hick* die…"

"…anou…Hee… Heero…" ::pause from the recorder::

Heero shut his eyes. His name was called…his name was it? Duo was calling to him…just like any other time but somehow…this time had a difference…a big difference…he couldn't just put a finger on it…

"…ai shiteru….itsumo ………….." 

Heero's eyes reopened, widened and surprised…???…a register of emotions??? Could it even be possible…

Just as when the message was over…he heard a very very very faint whisper…nonetheless…something more was said. He was sure of it. Nothing could escape his trained senses. Nothing. 

He took the recorder in his hands, rewind it a bit and played back.

"…ai shiteru….itsumo……….sayonara…."

His breath had been cut short for a moment. He DID hear right…there was something else… '…sa-yo-na-ra…' Heero repeated in his mind. "K'so!"

Immediately, he rushed out of the apartment and into the streets searching for Duo. He went to the park, any familiar street, even the church…but nothing… 

Hopeless as he had ever been, he went into his last resort, the bar. Impulsively, he eyed for Duo but did not find him. Thinking perhaps that Duo might pass by there soon enough, he sat down by the bar and ordered a bottle of whiskey from the bartender. He cared this much, huh? He wasn't certain. Even now, he wasn't sure how'd he felt after Duo's revealing message…Perhaps…because no one has ever said that to him before…never…

Having been opened, he pushed the glass a way and pulled down a long one. Burning, it trickled down his throat yet no emotions…no sound…

"Oi! Easy on that one, kid! It'll kill 'ya!" the bartender joked. He walked towards Heero, still behind the counter, a glass in his left hand, wiping it with his right one with a clean piece of cloth. 

Heero paid no heed for he had been engrossed in the thought that Duo was missing…and he felt something…was terribly wrong…Heero took another shot straight to half of the bottle. 

The bartender shook his head and complimented, "You drink just like the other boy who got drunk himself two nights ago." 

Heero, who was supposed to down another one paused, and stared intently at the bartender, who didn't mind. 

"Funny, he looked kinda cute, just like you…but he talked too much that's for sure," the bartender chirped and broke into a chuckle.

Heero grew suspicious. 'Talked too much, huh?' "Did the boy have a long brown braid?" 

The bartender looked up and met blue obscure grim eyes. He tilted his head to the lower left, trying to remember. "Yeah… Yeah, he did. How'd you know? Do you know him?" 

"He's a close friend…" This time, he couldn't resist. He gulped the whiskey down, almost finishing it.[8]"Tell me, do you know where he is?" 

"Huh?"

"Do you know where he is?"

"Oh? Haven't you heard?" 

"Heard what?" 

The bartender went to the corner of the counter, placed the glass to a tray with dry ones, got another wet one from below and began wiping. "I'd hate to be the one to tell you this…"

Heero gulped…this time not whiskey… What did the bartender mean by that? 

"Anou…He was ran over by a speeding truck… Perhaps he didn't hear it coming because he was really, really, really drunk. He had about 4 bottles of whiskey by that time…"

:::SILENCE::SHOCKING SILENCE:::

"It's a miracle though that he still was able to crawl back to a church…" 

"…" 

"When a priest found him, he had blood all over the altar cloth… What's weirder, the blood of his on the altar cloth…was writing… It wrote : Father, forgive me…if you can…onegai…" 

Heero was speechless. He hadn't known how to react. After all, he was trained to be heartless, wasn't he? That couldn't be true could it… It was just a month ago when he had last seen him… He paused. A month…could be too long… 

And another thing, how could he be sure that the bartender was telling the truth? How could he be sure that the boy the bartender spoke of and Duo were one and the same? But then…there were too many obvious hints…the long brown braid, the talkative one, lasting that long to drink even 4 bottles of whiskey…having the strength to stand up after being hit by a speeding truck and go to a church…one too many possibilities…He pushed the bottom of the bottle up and downed the remaining whiskey. 

"If you're lookin' for him, he's at the morgue. Nobody has claimed his body yet so they just left him the way he was…bloody." 

Finishing the bottle, he gave the bartender money to pay for and left. There was only one way to know the truth…

------------------

It wasn't long before when Heero found himself in the city morgue. He was sitting in a bench at the waiting area.

"Hey you!" an old man probably in his sixty's called to him. "You can come in now."

Heero stood up passively and slowly entered the room. 

:::Peeuuww::: 

It was very dark and his lenses had to adjust. Walking forward to a body covered in a blanket on a bed table[9], he could feel his heartbeat pound faster. Hesitantly, he raised his hand and lifted the blanket off the face of the body… 

He was in unexplainable shock. His tone had suddenly turned pale; his eyes sunken, his mouth aghast and his whole body trembling at the horrid sight of Duo's limp body, covered with blood. Tears won't stop streaming down his pastel cheeks A paper stuffed in Duo' shirt didn't pass his senses. He took it, unfolded it and read… 

The note was addressed to.…God…

\\…My cheeks have been stained with tears, my clothes stained with blood and my heart stained with unrequited love…but still, I thank you for showing me the light even for a short period of time. Thank you for showing me Heero… Please…I don't deserve it, but…watch over him….always…..\\

Tears wouldn't end, his brown bangs shielding his eyes… But why? Had he loved Duo? Was that love he felt? He paused for a loooong moment… 'Iie…' he thought. It wasn't love… It couldn't be… What was it then… Sympathy? …or was it pity… He was in deep thought once more... He did enjoy the company, the togetherness, the sex… but only to that point… nothing more than that...and he was sure of it.

"Gomen ne…Duo…" 'Gomen..I hadn't known…hadn't thought of it that way…'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

EPILOGUE II:

Four of them were gathered before Duo's coffin in the city cemetery. The only girl present, with blonde hair was hugging tightly a Japanese brunette who apparently, looked thinner than usual. His eyes were sore and his strength nearly gone. She had been holding on to him tightly, for if she let go, the boy would collapse. 

A pleasant-looking young man who had a lighter tone of blonde sadly looked away. His companion, a tall and slender one, bangs covering the sight of one eye, squeezed the former's hand tightly. A few more moments, they had said their final farewell and walked away…

:::BROGGG::: 

Everyone had been surprised at the sudden assault on the Japanese boy who fell limply to the ground. His aggressor was in proper-stance, planning another assault. However, the girl had blocked him with her own body. 

"Stop it!" she called to him. The assailant paid no heed.

"Stop it, Wufei!" the other blonde pleaded. 

The assailant had no intention of stopping, even if he had to hit the girl to get to Heero. 

"Stop it please!…Duo no tame ni!" Quatre cried in a final plea.

And with the mention of the name…the Chinese assaulter halted. "Che…"

The girl laid the Japanese boy's head on her lap, stroking his bangs. "I'm here…I'm here, Heero."

The young man, with jet-black hair and black spiteful eyes slowly walked towards the coffin and stood silently.

Heero finally stood up, allowing himself to be supported by Relena.

"Let's go…" Trowa suggested. Everyone else took a final gaze at Duo's coffin and at Wufei, nodded and left.

Hearing that his comrades were far enough…he knelt. Tears streamed down his cheeks, staining them endlessly… 

"…Duo…mo ai ni sae[10]…eien ni…"

~~~~~~~OWARI~~~~~~~ 

[1] Yogore is Japanese for the word /stain/. Have you noticed that I used often the word /stain/?

[2] ^_~ A friend did mention that it sounded like Heero was fucking his computer…. 

[3] Dozens is one too many, ne? But how am I supposed to know…. I'm too young! Honest!

[4] *That* would REALLY hurt, wouldn't it? ^_~ But hey, as I said, it's my first lemon! Someone help me, why don't'ya…

[5] Emotionlessness… is there such a word?

[6] sex pet… too much you think? 

[7] This /doko ni/ is meant for Heero. It's a shorter way of saying /Heero no doko ni iru?/ After all, he is on the verge of dying…

[8] Heero's such a fast drinker ne? Not possible? Really? I think it is…

[9] bed table…well how should I know what it's called…:::puppy eyes:::

[10] /mo ai ni sae/ I think it's another way of saying /I love you/. I'm not sure though…

\\\ itsumo - always \\\ eien ni – forever \\\ 

(arigatou, Hanako-chan for the clarification of the confusing phrases)

Yipee! I finished this in less than 24 hours! = ^v^ = I'm quite glad and appeased. [Ducks from assaulting Duo fans] Yes, yes, I did kill him off! But I had to! And what's with Wufei you ask…well…I am planning on a sequel to explain that…

Well, that's a wrap. MINNA-SAN…ONEGAI… I NEED your reviews… So please, give one. Tell me what you think of the first ever Gundam Wing, first ever Lemon, first ever Songfic I wrote!!! Also…I'm planning on a sequel and I need your support if you think I should do a sequel…


End file.
